Explaining Why

My dear Miss Elytis,

Thank you for your concern last night. I'm more touched than perhaps my brisk nature sometimes shows and your kind words meant a lot. I understand this is as difficult a concept to grasp as that of coffee without caffeine, and I hope this will help. To us, my regeneration is essential. I feel it is important to explain why this must be so. I owe everyone that, and this is not the time for mystery.

Terry and I arrived here some, well, in your time line 8 months or so ago. For me it has been much longer but that's an other story. In short, our craft (known commonly by the good people of Caledon as our Etheric Travel Cabinet) was disabled and, we believe, we were attacked in mid-flight. It's possible this was a side effect of what happened to my fellow Time Lord (though she is a whole different kettle of fish) Sen Pixie.

Sen is an expert Temporal Engineer and SIDRAT technician. She is far older and more experienced than I in these matters. We believe it was her who was attacked, and her travelling companion the Time Lord named Solis. Together with Drillon (who was exiled here by the High Council long ago) we are the only 4 of our species in your relam. It's highly likely that any other Time Lords you meet are inherent to this world and may be VERY different in nature.

We are now without power. Our power source, the Eye of Harmony, is cut off from the black sun beneath the Panopticon on Gallifrey. Possibly the power is being diverted away, we're not sure and lack the knowledge to confirm this. We have some residual energy, enough to make short forays across the grid, but not enough to escape atmosphere or return to our dimension.

Sen was attacked, and killed, of that we have no doubt. Disturbingly, she was attacked from 5th dimensional space (from the region of space/time in which the interior of the SIDRAT sits, which is theoretically impossible). She chose to save herself by uploading her conciousness into her TARDIS, a version of the ETC of which you know, and survived this way. Eventually downloading herself into a dying Time Lord host here in your world. Solis was nearly killed, escaped shortly before my death in the ship's escape pod, and was flung back in time. Suffering amnesia she lived for generations, regenerating at old age, hailed as the living goddess of a primitive a superstitious jungle tribe. Her and Sen were only reunited recently.

I myself, then in my first regeneration, died not long after arrival. Rassilon be praised we landed in a far outpost of Caledon at Pena. Terry had transformed, she protected Emilly with her body. She is Shidi, as you know, and survived the impact. I did not. We were taken in by good carni folk and cared for until I recovered. Of all the people here, only they have never know me to be different. When I regenerated I was greatly changed, but my form was one better able to live in this world and in Caledon. The ETC, my dear old friend, was badly damaged.

Terry and I have been friends a very long time. I love her like a sister. She is my friend, my long suffering assistant, my companion since the beginning of all this, and the reason I carry on. Emilly is Emilly and is simply fabulous anywhere. She has made a good life for herself here, but we are all trapped. We don't belong. We must go home, but we are not able. We must solve this. This is not our planet, and we are reminded of that every day. The main thing holding us back is knowledge.

Solis is a master historian. Sen is, well, an engineer I suppose. Drillon is all muscle, and was forced to regenerate far too recently when attacked in his own craft. I am a molecular biologist and have never had the smarts for work such as this. We need a better mind.

The ETC is ready and finally repaired. I have a working Zero Room to help my regeneration. Sen has done this once before, in theory. I have done extensive calculations. I was trained to work the Genetic Looms of Gallifrey and this is something I know can be done. We can craft a better mind. This is something I can do, and something that will be the catalyst for much more.

The obvious questions come to mind. What is our missing energy being used for? Why was Sen attacked and what has the power to do such a thing from 5th Dimensional Space? After my regeneration we can look to this with a fresh and superior intellect. We can solve this.

I will enter the Zero Room (the walls of which will shield me from the rest of the universe and provide a restful environment for recuperation) and upload 'myself' to the ETC mainframe. We will then destroy my existing body, I will manipulate my genetic code to what we need, and I will download my conciousness into my new form. I will stay in the Zero Room during this time as the regenerative cycle creates a large amount of energy which is often not entirely contained within a Time Lord's body. Sen has experienced a very similar process once before and she will be there to help me. There is much more to Sen than meets the eye.

So, there you have it. I have tried to do as much as possible in these last few days. Yes, I will be different after the process, there is no denying that. I will, however, still be me. Me, but smarter and in a different body. I may be confused or disorientated at first. This is perfectly normal. A limited degree of amnesia is not uncommon. It will pass. I get to do this 12 times in my lifetime. I am 411 years old. I'm statistically doing marvellously. Oh, and yes, I know I live in a time machine but the First Law of Time forbids such frivolity.

On Thursday, there will be a short good bye drink in the ETC before hand. I don't want a lot of fuss. If you can attend, that would be lovely and I know Kiralette would appreciate your support. I want a dance with Terry, and one with Virrgina, just in case. I have said my goodbyes to Emilly already as she is singing in Paris that night and doesn't really understand (bless her). One last whiskey with Alfonso, Roy, Angus and O'Tool if he can make it. I hope for no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. I hope they will all go forward in their beliefs, and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine.

Thank you for being a friend. Thank you for your concern. I know, like me, you sometimes feel distant from the ways of Caledon society and we have spoken of this before. Your friendship and kind attention has always been appreciated. I'm sure beyond doubt that our friendship will not change.

Keep your chin up. Look after the nice ones. The very best of wishes.

Doctor Oolon Sputnik
Commodore of The Imperial Navy of Caledon

x